001 bringing gloom to the people

Thursday, April 18, 2019

Welcome! I'm so happy to have you.

This is my new space on the Internet. I finally took the step towards getting a personal domain to call my own. I love it! It's going to take some time to get settled in, but this is it for now. Isn't it crazy how your online self and your real life self can have a moment they converge? I still respond to and call myself by my old name, but I'm hoping that by this time next year I will have adapted to my new name.

Do you like it? I hope you think it fits me. The concept behind Psychic Gloom is a girl that lives in a haunted house because she is the one haunting it. Her boyfriend and cats have to deal with all her quirks and occurrences. It's meant to be good-natured but dark still. I think that's a pretty clear staple of who I am and that's not going to change anytime soon, but I want my online persona to be more approachable and I want to use this venue as a way to connect to the like-minded. I like that the name can have double meaning and also means mental depression. Despite having kicked my lifelong depression as early as in 2019, I still think the gloom is a big presence in my life and my personality.

I don't think I'll be putting this blog out there until this looks less like a skeleton. There will have to be a lot of thought put into it still. For the time being I've got a ton of projects stacking, but at least I'm motivated and making new work every day. I'm really excited about the day the branding comes out. Once I spend enough time with it, I know it will be a better representation of who my online persona is meant to be. I can't wait! My life has some really exciting changes happening all around me. Letting go of the fear and leaping into the dark has been very risky and sometimes sloppy, but I don't feel bad about having gone the distance.

Samhain Moon has been an online safe haven for me for years. It ran from October 31st, 2010 all the way to December 22nd, 2019. It grew slowly; I invested a lot of effort in my tarot card reviews and in all of the temporary, thematic series of posts that I authored. Much to my surprise it had a following and was referred to often for references to my tarot collection and travel posts. Through that blog I made great friends and supportive clients. Most importantly, I had a chronological journal/scrap book through which I could express myself creatively and intellectually. I mused quite a bit, reflecting on my life and all of the tough lessons I learned. Samhain Moon definitely keeps some of my favorite memories from the last decade, and for that I am immensely grateful.

The blog was there for me when I graduated college and struggled to find a sense of purpose. I didn't really know which direction I wanted to take my life in, but life was happening to me and I wanted to stay mindful.  It became my online scrap book of all my favorite memories, but it wasn't as fun once I had moved on from all of its contents. After 2016 I felt the door slowly closing until I had finally disconnected from it. Once I found I had outgrown my online persona, I felt as if I was carrying a mask. It was a guise that grew over me as a second skin. I lost my motivation, I really wasn't enjoying the experience anymore. That's when it started to feel like a trap. Then I stopped posting regularly.

I did it because I didn't just want to be seen as a tarot reader with a cool card collection anymore. There is much more that I do in my spiritual path that I want to talk about without feeling boxed into just the tarot category. I realized that I am passionate about and want to talk about other subjects such as sustainable cooking, card games, video games, music, and lifestyle. I have a big personality and I live an alternative life, so I want to feel welcome to talk about it without the guilt nagging at me that all I am known to be passionate about is tarot.

I hang onto it to the very last moment when it comes to matters of the heart, or my line of work. The things I love I hang onto. One day I decided I was finally going to pursue the goal of hosting a blog on a domain, and while I was at it I could change my identity. I ran with that and went in pursuit of the meaning of who I wanted to be. I looked into my hobbies and what I was passionate about and I realized that I wanted to be seen as more than a psychic. Even if there will still be a ton (or the usual) amount of tarot content on this site, it won't be the focal point anymore.

Eventually there will be an outline of categories to help you find all the content more easily. I think what is most important is to get everything set up so that I can invite my friends to get acquainted with it. This'll be a landing page for the type of content people are asking me about regularly, so I think it'll start some interesting conversations. Here's to hoping.

I'm grateful to all the people that accompanied me through my life until this point I've arrived to now. I'm grateful to all of the life lessons and even for the hesitance that kept me back from pursuing my dreams until I was absolutely accepting of the fact I couldn't live without an outlet for my musings and creativity. It'll take a while before the pieces come together, but as I've come to learn that's exactly what this is all about.

Thank you for accompanying me this far. Please write to me if you've got anything you want to talk about.